I ceased the run,
I knew it was the best my middle-age body could do,
It was my routine to keep my pasty-white body thin,
It was just what I do,
Or, was I just fooling myself,
What do you do?
In reality, does the exertion just keep us sane?
I do not know,
But I’ll try to maintain,
And then I felt a rhythmic cadence from my heart beat pulsing into my moist thumb print,
That I’m still here,
At least, the best I could feel,
Weird, that they tell me my finger prints are unique to me,
Was it not the same for my microscopic DNA?
But I cannot see my DNA, or my thumping heart,
Because if so, I’d be dead,
Thankfully, my invisible heart keeps coursing oxygenated blood through my brain,
It allows me to be -well – me, you know, just the same,
I cannot see the DNA strings that collectively make me – me,
But I think I know they are there,
And then I wonder,
If there was a merciful God watching over me,
Or was God simply hiding inside me,
Whispering into my ear for me to listen?
I thought listening to the truth was hard,
Because the truth stripped me bare,
We all like to remain distracted from that conversation,
So I shrugged,
Even so, I don’t understand that light of the world stuff,
I adjusted my wet rock band t-shirt – I let my angst feel free to fly,
I have not an answer to any existential thought,
Even so, there are questions that pick at me,
That I do not have answers too, you see?
But what I know for certain,
I am alone,
I am just like everyone,
I face reality on my own terms,
To my fates,
I accept whatever comes my way, wicked or good,
I gazed side-to-side at the hustle and bustle,
And I wondered if anyone really cared?
Perhaps I get harpooned like Moby Dick,
A nasty death for sure for my great white blather,
Courtesy from Captain Ahab’s sharp arrow,
And then, attention, attention, my demise was on the news at 11!
But then the pretty talking-head asked, “Now, what about those Texans?”
Even so, I know each season cycles and comes and goes,
Winter, Spring, Summer and Fall,
And I stop at the same street corner, time after time for my beginning and an end,
To seek the journey for my soul,
And wonder if there was a purpose for all the whole,
As my fall breath fades into the dark night,
Sometimes, even now, I cry for hope,
I beg for what might be right,
And I wonder what lives beyond our stratosphere,
I hate winter, because winter kills,
So, I have but one idea to share,
Resist the cold, it cheats the heart,
Because I want to leave the Devil in despair,
I’d rather be damned, than to live with regrets,
Because I will fight,
I will scratch and crawl – to my end,
IF it be near or far, it does not matter,
For I will seek an event horizon smiling,
Because I know happiness was already here.